On Becoming a Mama
Becoming a mama has unlocked spaces in my heart, soul, and mind that I had felt little twinges of, but I had never really been able to get to before. Places of new kinds of calm, hope, strength, resiliency, and joy. Places of self-denial, self-sacrifice, self-discipline, and self-reflection. Places that I thought were surrendered to the Lord, but I needed the lessons learned in new-parenthood to truly hand those places over to Him.
I'm recognizing more and more just how incredibly special and important the role and responsibility of "mama" is, reminding myself daily that God has called me to it, and He will hold me up and strengthen me to do it. And I am in awe at this miraculous process that He has set in place. As my baby grows, the strength in my own arms grows in tandem to be able to carry Him. As his sense of adventure and curiosity grows, my own patience and gentleness grows to help guide and teach him when he gets into something that he shouldn't. I am incessantly astounded at the fact that at one time this little life did not physically exist, and now, praise God, it does. It is almost overwhelming to think about. My gratitude grows with each little giggle, new facial expression, and slobbery kiss.
It's also been like a lightbulb turning on and revealing to me in a different way what my own mom has gone through, sacrificed, and done for me. It's produced a new kind of gratitude, growing a new branch in my love for her, and humbling me to how much I thought I knew, but how little I actually knew jumping into this adventure.
Becoming a mama is unlike anything I have experienced before. Every day is full of treasures and moments of the miraculous. Some days, the responsibility feels like 1,000 lbs on my shoulders, but it is one that I would choose to carry over and over and over again. It has softened my heart, sharpened my focus, and reminded me of the diligence and hard work required for living and loving well. It has shifted so many things in me. And I am incredibly grateful.